Thursday, February 26, 2009

Top Nine Reasons to Not Live in Minnesota

I just found out its going to snow here again, and my heart has sunk a little deeper. Yes, I know my climate isn't as cold as Canada or Antarctica, but at least those places don't give you some small amount of spring-hope by getting above freezing and melting all the snow before suddenly throwing in a blizzard [well, maybe those places actually do this also without my knowledge, but let me rant, please...]. These current conditions have caused me to take some retrospective analysis of my days and nights in Minnesota and mull over whether a migration to a warmer climate might be a boon to me emotionally. So, without further ado, here are the Top Nine Reasons To Not Live In Minnesota:

9) The last time I could have had pride in one of our sports teams was when I was one year old.

8) Our only Hollywood Governor was a Schwarzenegger wanna-be.

7) We are famous for having one good hospital.

6) Very hilly terrain combined with large amounts of ice equals many sprains and bruises.

5)
Stand-up comedians have a fair chance here at being U.S. Senators.

4) It's probably a bad idea to have a 'loon' represent our state, even if it is only the state bird.

3) Apparently, every Minnesotan is in some part Lutheran.

2) Lutefisk... Issshhhhh!

1) If I ever hear another joke about a Minnesotan airport bathroom stall, it would be too soon.

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